Ayurveda tells us is that one may set intentions and then must surrender to the Universe HOW they manifest. We don’t get to control the timing and if what we intend doesn’t seem to be coming our way, the Universe has something even better in store! Deepak Chopra speaks of this in his best selling book Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. We will surely block progress when we cling to what and how we think things should happen. I’ve had a big dose of unpredictability (and tragedy) in the last year and a half and it has been difficult to view them as positive in my evolvement but when I step out of my ego mind, ahamkar in sanskrit, and enter my higher intelligence, Buddhi , I am gaining a more enlightened perspective.
I’ve learned first hand that the emotional body very much affects the physical body. I was in the stressful process of divorce when my father had a surprising diagnosis of cancer and died three weeks later – in the same week my husband of 17 years was moving out and, my daughter was having her graduation from Waldorf middle school ceremony and my bank called me telling me I had been a victim of bank fraud! Throughout these life circumstances I have faithfully maintained my twice daily practice of Primordial Sound Meditation and my ayurvedic daily routine, dinacharya. Eight months later my husband died by suicide. This was an extreme shock to my system and my physical body showed it! I had intense burning and swelling of my chest, neck and facial skin. I was burning from the inside out then peeling! As soon as a round was finished it would begin again, cycling. I was doing my best to pacify excess pitta and vata dosha and was disappointed to continue having the experience. I use my therapeutic grade essential oils and have had to use them with extra caution because my skin was so reactive. Western medical doctors gave me lots of tests but found nothing! The gift for me was to look deeper. Asking the question before meditation “Who am I?” was taking on a more important meaning for me. I also grew to appreciate that my body was doing an excellent job of letting go of the accumulated stress rather than sending it more deeply into my organs. I realized that I had to truly embrace the karmic lessons for myself rather than expecting immediate results from my practices. I embraced that there were valuable lessons for me to learn and spirit wanted me to go deeper. I have bravely confronted each lesson and endured the physical discomfort using meditation, ayurvedic practices and essential oils rather than masking the symptoms.
It has been 10 months since my husband died and while I’m not yet 100% I am remarkably better! These experiences have taken me to deeper learning in meditation, ayruvedic lifestyle practices and aromatherapy, and in the process my faith has grown and my commitment to these healing modalities has solidified completely.
I look forward to sharing with my some of my profound experiences in my upcoming blogs!